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A Parent's Time with Jesus

Every day I try to spend time cultivating my relationship with Jesus.  I personally try to do it in the morning because I'm most awake in the mornings.  For me, “time with Jesus” includes a time of prayer (either speaking or journaling confession, repentance and surrendering my heart and plans to God's sovereign will, etc.) and reading scripture.  Any given day there's typically a lot on my heart, whether it be personal things or marriage or children or friends or work, the list goes on and on ... and surrendering it all before the God of Scripture is vitally important. You see, recently I had been wanting to take some time and ‘get it all out’ in prayer with God.  Below is a recent journal entry for you to see. I’ve omitted some details, but you’ll get the idea.  

Jesus prepare my heart. For what you have in store. I am anticipating ****.  Honestly, that makes my heart sad, but it’s the reality and that’s okay. Lots of families do it well. Again, Jesus, I’m fearful of how ‘hard’ it will be on ****. I know **** will be okay, but I don’t think **** thinks that. **** hates the idea of this. Jesus, I need You to give **** the faith to believe in You that it’ll be okay and that You’ll take care of it all like you’re taking care of me. IMG_1018.JPGOh my gosh the kids are fighting and won’t leave each other alone. For 20 minutes. Back and forth and back and forth. k.i.l.l.i.n.g.m.e. Mean words. Back and forth. Giving me a headache. Scratching each other. Slamming doors. I. MEAN. COME. ON! 

And, that’s when the computer shut and I was done!  I know this is the reality for not just me, but all of us parents.  We have a ton going on and it’s not going to stop just for us to have our quiet times or to ‘meet with Jesus’ or journal or pray or catch our breath or eat or even use the restroom!  Life doesn’t stop, it just keeps going and so we go with it.

Sometimes things like this totally frustrate me and I get mad at God.  “Why can’t I just pray in silence?!?!?” — “I’m actually trying to be intentional in my relationship with you, God, and you can’t even make them stop for one minute??!?! It’s for the betterment of me … AND THEM!!!”  

Instead, I’m learning to just take what I can get and be thankful for it.  My conversation with God doesn’t end with the journaling above. I can pick that back up at nap time or when I turn a TV show on for them or after bedtime!

I want to also encourage you, parents.  What you are in is a season.  I know people have told you this before, but I will reconfirm it for you!!! This phase will not last forever.  My kids are now 13 and 10, and although I still have to intentionally make time for my heart to be surrendered before the Lord, it just looks different.  If you fight now to cultivate your personal relationship with Jesus through prayer and reading scripture, you will continue to reap benefits when you are 10, 30, and 50 years down the road. Press into cultivating your time with the God of Scripture daily through prayer --- even if it keeps getting interrupted!!!